Sunday, October 21, 2018

Drag queens don't suffer from L'esprit d'escalier

L'esprit d'escalier is that thing when you think of the perfect sharp, clever, cutting response too late to use it. I've never seen a drag queen be late with a perfect sharp, clever, cutting response.

At a party last night, I was too stunned and disgusted to come up with a good response to a co-worker who said, "Trump's really getting stuff done!" After fuming about it for most of my waking hours between then and now, I decided to have Angie, my drag queen character, respond. She'd do it better than I could, anyway.


"'Trump is really getting stuff done'? No, no, everybody, no booing. That gentleman at the bar is absolutely correct. Let's look at some of the stuff 'President' Trump has gotten done. He's encouraged white supremacists to remain silent no longer! He's given desperately-needed tax breaks to the richest one percent of the country! And he's made it legal to oppress immigrants again! We've been wanting to do that for a friggin' century, am I right? Hey, on an entirely unrelated topic, quick show of hands: who here is one hundred percent Native American? Come on, don't be shy, I won't ask you to whip out your totem one? Really? Well, in that case, Trump can kiss my padded ass and get on a boat back to Germany, where his family immigrated from. But enough about our collective hemorrhoid. Maestro, if you would be so kind as to cue up the next song? Thank you."

(sweeping curtsy to the applauding audience)


I can't use this scene in the book because it would cement the story in our repugnant present, whereas I'm hoping the story will be somewhat timeless (although I've already had to change a line about the ability to get married -- yes, this story has been in the works since before 2015). But I had to get it out of me, and Angie took off with it.

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