Thursday, May 17, 2012

Hop Against Homophobia -- my Blog Hop post

The Hop Against Homophobia is here!  (All avow alliteration! :D)

First thing:  make sure you visit everyone else's blogs, which can be accessed through the main Blog Hop site.

Second thing:  I'm a straight ally, so I don't have any personal experience with homophobia.  The closest I've gotten to it is reading those really ignorant, ugly comments that show up below online articles about gay rights.  I can't even begin to imagine what it would be like to have that sort of bile spewed directly into my face in real time, not knowing if words will be the end of it or if they're the prelude to a bashing.

So how do we end homophobia?  It needs to be extinct, not just driven underground. (I apologize in advance to any non-US readers -- this post is going to be very United States-centric.)

Despite the civil rights victories of the 1960s, racists still exist.  They know not to use the N-word in public (because if they do, they'll be told off, sneered at, ostracized by most Americans), but they'll say it in private, among their friends and families.  Just the fact that they still *think* it gives me the creeps, really.

I don't want to control people's thoughts or to force them to think a certain way -- no one wants the Thought Police -- but I want those bigoted, hateful thoughts to disappear organically, to be burned away by education, by open-mindedness and acceptance.

I have no idea how to do this except to Stay Calm and Carry On.  To not tell people that they're being MORONS, even when I really, really think it, because then I'll lose them forever.  To not drive that hatred (and idiocy) underground where we can't shine a light on it.  It's gonna be hard, but I'll try.  :)

We *can* win hearts and minds.  The man who organized NOM's bus tour last summer had his mind changed by the peaceful counter-protesters at the Atlanta rally.  My friends and I were some of those counter-protesters.  It feels great, knowing you made a difference.


There's still a long way to go -- the recent vote in North Carolina proved that.  But things are changing fast, and young people give me hope for the future.  I'll do my small part by continuing to march for equal rights and by writing as much HEA gay porn as possible.  :)


(You can read HEA (oops, spoiler!) gay porn in my story "From A Simmer To A Burn", one of the M/M pirate romance stories in "Cross Bones", an anthology published by Dreamspinner Press (and, I just discovered, on sale right now!).

Comment on this post from now through May 22, and I'll put your name into a drawing for a chance to win a free e-copy of "Cross Bones".)
Posted by at

29 comments:

  1. AndreaMay 17, 2012 at 10:04 AM

    You're right, there is still a very long way to go. Thanks for participating.

    andreagrendahl At gmail DOt com

    ReplyDelete
  2. B SnowMay 17, 2012 at 3:30 PM

    I've got to believe that, too. :) Thanks for commenting!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Lyra L7May 17, 2012 at 5:06 PM

    I'm a straight ally, so same as you I didn't experience homophobia first hand but I think most of us heard the comments in school or in the street, when some of the homophobes see gay people or think(and I use the term lousely)that someone acts gays.
    First came the word, so I hope with talking, writing about homophobia, showing that there are a lot of people, who don't support such behaviour we can change people.

    lyraDOTlucky7 gmail dot com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. B SnowMay 18, 2012 at 1:10 AM

      I think there are people open-minded enough to see the support for equality and not dismiss it outright, but instead take a closer look at it. We need to have our facts and examples ready to persuade them. Beautiful ads don't hurt, either. :) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a54UBWFXsF4

      Delete
  4. AnonymousMay 17, 2012 at 5:24 PM

    HEA gay porn makes everything better. :-) As a straight woman, I sometimes worry that gay men feel I'm co-opting their sexuality when I browse the gay porn section or read m/m. But I think it's given me more and more empathy as time has gone on, which can only be a good thing, right?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. B SnowMay 18, 2012 at 1:16 AM

      One would think. I do hear occasionally about gay men who get pissed off about the whole "straight women like gay stuff", but it's kind of like setting up a wildlife habitat in your back yard: maybe you want to attract birds, but you shouldn't get mad if a few squirrels show up. It's all lovely wildlife, isn't it? :)

      I think you're right about the increasing empathy. Definitely a good thing! (And honestly, if we help increase the demand for gay porn, doesn't that benefit everyone? :D)

      Delete
  5. UnknownMay 17, 2012 at 5:33 PM

    thank you for sharing this with us today. I think this is an important cause that needs the spotlight shining on it.

    musings-of-a-bookworm@hotmail.co.uk

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. B SnowMay 18, 2012 at 1:19 AM

      It does need a spotlight on it. Why do people need to be obnoxious when it's easier to be kind?

      Thanks for stopping by!

      Delete
  6. AnonymousMay 17, 2012 at 7:14 PM

    LOL I love the spoiler alert. I need that HEA. That's why I read romance. I love m/m romance.

    I'm so glad that this blog hop was organized. I grew up in one of the reddest states in the union. Every type of bigotry you can imagine was displayed on a daily basis. I left the state as soon as I graduated college. I pray that things will get better in the US soon.

    geishasmom73 AT yahoo DOT com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. B SnowMay 18, 2012 at 1:25 AM

      I need that HEA, too. I'm sure sad endings can be done well (Brokeback Mountain, for example), but that's not how I want to exit a book, either as a reader or writer. I'm just sappy, I guess. :)

      Yeah, the US....A lot of it seems to be at a tipping point, but I think it's going to be awhile before the number of asshats in my very "red" state drops to non-toxic levels. :\

      Thanks for commenting!

      Delete
  7. YvetteMay 18, 2012 at 5:12 AM

    Thanks for the post. I would rather have an HEA ending...so much better than sadness.
    Yvette
    yratpatrol@aol.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. B SnowMay 18, 2012 at 9:07 PM

      I know there are some people who believe a sad ending is more beautiful. I'm just not one of them. :D Give me happy and funny any day.

      Thanks for commenting!

      Delete
  8. UnknownMay 18, 2012 at 10:58 AM

    Today definitely calls for a HEA. :)

    morris.crissy@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. B SnowMay 18, 2012 at 9:07 PM

      Hope things are looking up for you! Thanks for stopping by!

      Delete
  9. L.M. BrownMay 19, 2012 at 7:38 AM

    I am another straight ally. The closest I have got to homophobia was back in school when I did have gay slurs hurled in my direction, inaccurate though they were. To have to put up with it throughout your life is something I can't imagine having to go though.

    Thanks for taking part in the hop.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. B SnowMay 19, 2012 at 4:58 PM

      Good on you. You could have walked away from all of it, saying that it wasn't your problem, but instead, you're standing with people who don't have the choice to walk away. So, kudos. :)

      Thanks for stopping by.

      Delete
  10. Erica PikeMay 19, 2012 at 3:50 PM

    Wow, just getting one person to see right from wrong in this matter is a huge accomplishment. Wish I'd been there to see it :)

    Erica
    eripike at gmail dot com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. B SnowMay 19, 2012 at 5:00 PM

      I think his change of heart took place awhile after the Atlanta rally, but yeah, amazing. Counter-rallies, signing petitions, whatever -- I never think they'll actually change minds, I just like to let the other side know that not everyone agrees with them. So to have someone actually change their mind on that topic really is pretty huge. :)

      Thanks for commenting!

      Delete
  11. Ashley EMay 19, 2012 at 7:15 PM

    You are so right. Yelling at them just makes them dig in their heels and "proves" them right... in their own minds. Taking the peaceful side and staying calm and controlled is the key to winning them over... and proving them wrong once and for all.

    ashley.vanburen[at]gmail[dot]com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. B SnowMay 21, 2012 at 12:39 AM

      I hope so. It's so hard to be calm sometimes, but if rational people see calm reason vs. foaming-at-the-mouth dogma, they'll probably take a chance on calm.

      Thanks for stopping by!

      Delete
  12. N.J. Nielsen/ SaddingtonMay 20, 2012 at 1:44 AM

    I am pretty sure I have cross bones so I am stopping by to say thank you fro taking part in this hop.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. B SnowMay 21, 2012 at 12:41 AM

      Thanks for stopping by, and if you do have the book, I hope you enjoyed it! :)

      My first time really participating in a blog hop, and I'm glad it's for an important purpose.

      Delete
  13. PeggyMay 20, 2012 at 5:59 PM

    Thanks for the post. The hop has been great.

    Peggy1984@live.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. B SnowMay 21, 2012 at 12:42 AM

      I've done a little hopping this weekend, too. Nice to see almost 300 blogs participating! Woot! :D

      Thanks for stopping by!

      Delete
  14. gigiMay 20, 2012 at 7:06 PM

    Thanks for participating in the HOP.

    gisu29(at)gmail(dot)com

    ReplyDelete
  15. wulfMay 20, 2012 at 7:58 PM

    Thanks for participating in this hop. I'm enjoying all the great blog posts.

    penumbrareads(at)gmail(dot)com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. B SnowMay 21, 2012 at 12:44 AM

      Me, too! I don't always get to the blogs of other authors, so it was nice to have the links all in one place, and great to read their thoughts on the topic.

      Thanks for stopping by!

      Delete

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)