Going to try Marie Sexton's Saturday Snark for the first time. My godawfully long WIP pirate historical is sadly lacking in humor, way more angsty than I usually write, but here's an exchange that might qualify for the Snark blog hop.
“I must ask you to untie my hands.”
“And I must refuse your request.”
Philip drew in a breath and blew it out again. “Please. Sir. I...I must answer the call of nature.”
“You’ve got to piss?”
“All right.” William opened a cupboard beneath the bunk and pulled out a tin chamber pot. Setting it down on the chair between Philip’s legs, he reached for the buttons on Philip’s pantaloons.
‘No!” Philip shouted, recoiling so violently that he upset the chair and would have fallen to the floor had William not caught him. The chamber pot went flying, ending up in the corner of the cabin.
“Ho there! Calm yourself, lad!”
“What are you doing?”
“I’m helping you take a piss, that’s all!”
“No! You can’t...please untie me, and I’ll do it.”
“You’re mad if you think I’m going to untie you.” William looked him up and down. “You’re a very dangerous young man, despite your appearance. So you can let me pull out your prick so you can use the pot, or you can wet yourself. Your decision.”
“Your chair.” A glimmer of defiance under the fear made William blink.
“What’s that, now?”
“This is your cabin, isn’t it? And it will be your chair soaked in p—piss if you don’t untie me and let me use the pot myself.”
“Hmm. Clever lad.”